This above picture is from a mango tree in our farm and there is a very good reason for choosing it for this blog post, which I will let you know at the end of this article !
As I write this, it feels like completing a PhD thesis and that am now defending it in public. After turning 10,000 days on Feb 10th, 2017 it felt like sharing this 10000 days summary with all of you which has nearly 10 years of understanding, observing and experiencing. Even though there are more lessons that will be coming my way, it was important to take this moment to look back into this life of mine and express my perspective on relationships.
It was fun writing this, mainly because of the references that were collected to express this topic is a easy to understand and light manner. Thanks to all creators of these amazing videos and images that are being used in this post.
Formalities are done at this point !
Now, to get you into the mood for this topic, watch this wonderful song , make sure you watch this song completely and read/understand the lyrics.
This song gives you many keywords about most of the relationship issues we have today.
Before you read further , please read Part 1 and Part 2 of this series where I explain topics related to you and your consciousness and give you a pretty clear picture on classification of humans. If you did not read my previous posts or if you could not understand it, you will find this post to be meaningless and quite a waste of your valuable time. So kindly make sure you go through them and understand! Here are the links :
PART 1 : ROOT OF ANY PROBLEM
PART 2: LEVELS OF CONSCIOUSNESS
Great ! Welcome to vivekc.com my dear reader. Are you currently stressed about a relationship and wondering what to do in your life and why such things are happening to just YOU, then worry no more dear – buy our 99$ monthly subscription to this blog and get rid of all your relationship issues. MONEY BACK GUARANTEED if your relationship fails !
I am not kidding !! This is how information is spreading currently, everything ends up in a business model. I want this blog post to stand out from the rest of the information that’s out there and give a clear cut view point of what is happening around us. My belief as I write this post is that, all the people I know of and the people I don’t know of, will have a peaceful and beautiful life with fellow humans around them, for as long as they live after getting this solid background understanding. But on a serious note : If you read this and you feel this blog screwed up your relationship, I am not responsible. Use this knowledge responsibly.
If someone who knows me is reading this right now, they would tell themselves, can this guy really write about relationships! That’s exactly the reason why I am even writing this post. Because my behavior from my true self was completely overridden by some amazing factors which I will decipher. And I want to take this opportunity to show my fellow humans the exact reality that needs to be talked about. Take time to read this so that you can think and relate to your own life. I want you to focus, concentrate, take notes, more focus …lol… It feel like I am Sheldon and you are Penny , learning physics from me, watch this video :
Think of me as Sheldon Cooper in the above video , trying to explain this relationship topic, so that all of you can be really really happy !
First and foremost, we are all humans who have significantly evolved to be who we are today, this has taken quite a lot of effort, intelligence and sacrifice to be where we are as of now. This below video shows our ancestors, you and me could be related to each other and it is important we feel that way as you read ahead.
Relationships between humans are not as great as they are supposed to be in 2017, something is totally messed up and I personally wanted to figure out WHY? All the info below is my opinion,through personal experiences , going through internet, reading books and observing our world for 10,000 days without judging. This goes with the saying that ” it is important to observe before you speak up “. Now is my turn to speak about this !
Take a long DEEP breath, make sure your mind is calm, because we will go through a lot of details.
There are 4 main topics which will be covered, I am going to go in depth to each one and will present things in a easy to grasp manner, you are all welcome to ask me questions as comments after going through the entire post. I highly recommend you to take time off your mind, forget everything you have learnt so far in life. Sit back, relax and read on.
- The Problem
- Sources of Problem
- My understanding
- Key takeaways
1. THE PROBLEM
I personally feel relationships and bonding’s are being broken at a rapid rate. In some cultures they are still holding on to them, but there are PLAN A,B,C,D alternatives even in those cases. There are numerous unknown forces hitting us so hard that there is a quiet a bit of sadness surrounding humans.
All that we are trying to do everyday in our life is to be “HAPPY and to have PEACE OF MIND” , so understand this sentence carefully, break it down word by word. Stare at it for 15 seconds and make sure you know what you are reading. “YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY and HAVE PEACE OF MIND”. This is exactly why YOU and ME are all living for, in fact I am writing this blog post to get happiness. Do you have happiness and peace of mind for every second of your life ? If so then you are good to go, you don’t need to read this blog anymore. But even if there is a slight discomfort inside you, this blog will help you a lot !
As a society we all live together with a large number of human groups and we tend to like a bunch of them and dislike another bunch them, we call these associations as RELATIONSHIPS. In the process of living this life, there are only 2 possible states of mind a person will live in: HAPPINESS or MISERY. You will only be in one of these at a given time.
Humans form bonding with friends, animals, spouses, co-workers, parents and huge bunch of others and will call each one a different kind of relationship. As the world grows on to become more and more complex, I see a large number of people I closely know and don’t know, suffering from regular depressions, sadness, misery, greed, divorces, break ups, killing, infidelity and it all came down to relationship between 2 humans. And note that relationships does not just mean between the opposite sexes , it’s between every human to every other human, parents, siblings, lovers, friend’s , husband’s, children…. Etc. I believe I have a very strong view point, which if people understand can solve most of these issues.
All the divorce figures are so common that we don’t even bother about it now and just move on, below is some random statistic but you know the reality of how many relationships are lasting.
And then comes the relationship between parents and their own children, these are feelings and I cant really explain them in a bunch of words on a blog post, if you are smart you will understand other persons emotions or you will just have to experience yourself to understand the pain. This article is pretty good http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2784782/Study-shows-rounded-children-spend-time-chatting-parents.html
We as humans borrow principles from animal kingdom, “the good ones” and adapt in our life. We learnt to clean like a cat, build a nest as beautiful as a bird’s nest, but then why the hell we did not adapt the good habits of relationship that are found in animal kingdom, watch these penguins and observe how much they both work towards each other to create a happy life for themselves and their siblings.
As the mental health of humans degrades, which is your mind is not under your control and you don’t even know why your mind is thinking something so random , we face a vast number of challenges. Many of the problems are because people are stuck in 3rd level of consciousness or there is a disparity between levels of consciousness between 2 humans. This problem has to be resolved and it has to be done fast !
We bring competition to just about everything and mess up this beautiful journey of life, just like game of thrones, relationships are like GAME OF MINDS these days. Each one thinks they are smarter than the other and try to beat them out of competition, is this what a relationship is all about ?
As I will be addressing most of the relationships between humans, the most complex of all is the one between a man and a woman, which I will be spending more time on and deciphering every bit of information I am AWARE of.
Its quiet sad to see 2 people after 10 years of working on a relationship breaks apart in like 6 SECONDS !! WOW ! But then , its also amazing to see the relief people get, they get back there happiness that they wanted after the break up, its ridiculously complex, your own brain makes you want that person, and then after a few years , your own brain tells you to get rid of that person. Sweet ! What am I missing here? This is the best problem to solve !!
2. SOURCES OF PROBLEM
Now let me pin point and mention the sources which are causing these relationship issues. I feel they are pretty starlight forward but usually hidden from normal humans eyes.
The 4 main sources that I see are :
Read my previous blog LEVELS OF CONSCIOUSNESS .
DIGITAL COMMUNICATION :
This dude is such a cool factor which made our lives so easy and at the same time took away so much charm that was there in relationships. The number 1 reason for all the current breakups is digital communication, as much as it has allowed people to come close , the same thing has made it very easy to get separated, real emotions get conveyed through eyes , we are all fooling ourselves when we flirt on mobile apps, nothing is working , all the emoticons are representing fake looks , the other person imagines a completely wrong perspective.
The first flaw is, you will never get to know the person for real, there is absolute so real feeling being communicated. Watch this wonderful video, to understand how much a face to face conversation will contribute to a relationship. Make sure you focus on their eyes :
Read more about importance of eye contact in http://www.businessinsider.com/eye-contact-powerful-2017-3?utm_content=buffer5f3b2&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer-ti
Yay ! Movies ! This wonderful world of movies, which I myself am a part of and create content with my amazing colleagues, have impacted the society in a real hard way. Here is a simple fact, the goal of a movie is to take control of your awareness for about 2 hours and tell you a story which makes you feel emotionally attached to it and trigger the right set of neurons. If there was a seducing scene in a movie , the goal of a movie maker is to make the audience feel it as if it were happening to them, they are called MOVIE MAGIC tricks , these tricks make you feel that way. Which is lighting, camera movement, sound, costumes… Many things are running in parallel to make you feel that way !
Here is a perfect example of how stuff works in Romance. Its pretty funny and Real, a must watch !
And here is another nice take on movies versus real life by Olivia Rouyre and her team !
And then we have music, that makes us feel how we want, you plug in your ear plugs , listen to a sad song, its makes you think of your ex , you listen to a happy one, you feel like being in a relationship, then a parents song, you miss your parents , even though you did not appreciate while they were next to you for like 10 years. If you want to feel sad in India, just watch this beautiful composition from Mr Rehman, plenty of songs make us feel emotional because they trigger the proper chords in your brain, a musician is controlling the awareness of your brain, you are not conscious or your awareness is not under your control when this is happening . I myself feel sad when I loop the below video song, its very well done ! But I am glad my brain is aware that it is a fake feeling for 5 minutes. As a kid, I was not as smart as you people, my brain used to believe that this is real and this is how life would be, whoever the director who made my brain believe it, kudos to him ! Because he did a great job in convincing my brain . It took quite a while for me to get out of this believing loop !
Then we have our famous music videos ! Adele’s voice can make us emotional and touch our hearts, I am not complaining about it, I am just making sure we are all aware of what is happening in our brains. Scenes where girls move in slow motion, 500 FPS cameras, where hair is blowing in gentle wind and you see her dimples and a guy with perfect body, well defined triceps/abs comes and lifts this girl up, camera zooms to a aerial shot, everything is so much happiness, like in this below song,
This shit does not happen in real life! There is lot of great lighting, make up, amazing editing, a brilliant camera man, a crane operator, great location, nice music that goes into making that shot, this is making your brain to expect this in your real life, its building these expectations from your partner. in fact our beautiful actress Katherine Heigl might be upset during the shoot that she might have even yelled at the crew, I don’t know, but shooting this video song is not easy, many struggles go into make this work ! What I am trying to stress is, these things have a direct influence on your brains and try to be aware of it.
Another nice movie, which actually portrayed reality was “500 days of summer” , watch the below scene :
After saying all this , I still have a few LOVE stories that I am writing scripts for , Why ??? Why me ?? Because they feel quite amazing to watch on screen. That’s it !! Its just a STORY.
This is the biggest source of the problem. I do not want to consider the people I know or whom I have observed to be considered as bad people, every human who is born is AMAZING, EVERYONE IS TRULY AMAZING ! But they go through a filter of society,parents, where sometimes things turn out good and sometimes they get completely modified, to showcase certain behaviors that I talk about in my next section.
To give a good explanation I had to coin a term called “THE FLOW”. The flow is what you are living in currently.
Observe this above flow chart for a while, you are a PREY in this whole system. Now when you are born you don’t know what a break up is , what parenting is , what marriage is, what divorce is , there are absolutely no rules, you were FREE!! It feels amazing. But then the people around us have formed a system which is called as society where a bunch of conditions exist, in order to satisfy those conditions, you start creating a complicated web of mess. You get stuck in this mess and will never have the time to figure out how to come out of it. Which is where this blog post will come to help to see where you stand in this mess and how to deal with it. These categories are huge classifications which I will go over in next section. You are just one human in the below picture where you will be trying to prove something to someone.
3. MY UNDERSTANDING
Let us start with the actual topic now. A relationship is a bonding between 2 people or any 2 animals. I do not want to be using only humans as examples , but rather ANIMALS in general, Animal kingdom is the best ever source of knowledge for us to decipher! This will give the best perspective for all our modern problems. Every animal on this planet will have at-least one of the types of relationships that I mention below.
From what I have seen in my 10000 DAYS, there are 2 major types of relationships :
1) UNCONDITIONAL relationship :
This is the purest, most authentic and truest form of LOVE a animal shows to another. As per my observation most parents show this to their children. There are no bounds and limitations in this relationship.
Watch this video of chimpanzee saving it’s baby when drowning , see the determination in taking care of its baby, the quick REFLEXES you see is unconditional love.
Now watch this video and compare it to the people in US leaving their kids in car to die , because they cant take care of them. A MOTHER or a parent will generally show total unconditional love to there off springs. This is quiet important to remember as we move on.
In Unconditional relationships , there are 2 categories again:
Unconditional matured relationships , Unconditional immature relationships .
The reason why there is a difference in this is even though Unconditional love in general is amazing, it has an extreme drawback, imagine you lose a loved one whom you loved so much , a animal in such situation can exhibit matured or immature behavior.
In Unconditional mature : This animal knows that ATTACHMENT to anything will cause misery and is always aware of this , in the case of extremes it knows how to cope up with the situation.
In Unconditional immature : This animal is RAW under 3rd level of consciousness and does not understand the concept of life and can go to extremes , have revenge and even destroy its own life, this is extremely common and which is why I wanted to have this as a category. Quite a number of human beings carry this unconditional immature HATRED. This is debatable as sometimes it makes sense and sometimes it does not.
Usually in Unconditional relationships, I often see parent – child, siblings, friend -friend , also in couples. If couples can evolve to “UNCONDITIONAL MATURE”, that would be the most amazing relationship! It should not have any expectations ,but will always be pouring in love from all corners. In this current era, as soon as economics and fame come into play (Again this is not mistake of the individuals involved , it’s the rules created by society) even siblings won’t be having any sort of Unconditional love. This is sad as it is getting worse. Unconditional love is becoming rare in humans and it would be great to see more of it. I did find unconditional love from my parents and that was the purest form of love I experienced and did not find a closer comparison to it. The reason why we need unconditional love is, your parents or siblings wont be with you FOREVER(Our average life span is 25,000 days ) and you will start feeling that lose of a feeling which you were so much used to it in earlier part of your lives.
Usually with pets, we form a very good unconditional love , because there are no EXPECTATIONS from either side. Assume you had a pet and you took care of it for 10 years with so much love and one day it disappears without telling you, how would you feel , that’s exactly how some parents feel in current days once a child starts ignoring them. Below is a clip from Hachiko, a wonderful movie that made me cry so much ! Its just too much unconditional love to experience at once ! DAMN !
2) CONDITIONAL relationships
Now we enter a area which can be CONTROVERSIAL and tricky , but before we go further and mess your brains with more animal logic…
A important fact to observe is that every animal has a tendency to expect something when something is given by it. This is by far extremely common in human civilization and this is the source of every wrong thing that happens in relationships. Imagine this as the source of all the further discussion. If EXPECTATIONS did not exist, this blog post would not exist.
Even parents come under conditional relationships when they start to expect something out of their kids , example is as simple as “Our kid should grow up and make them proud”. Or even “Our kid should grow up and have a good life like us “. Remember “THE FLOW” it plays its major role in conditional relationships !
GROUND TRUTH : Every animal born on earth will have DESIRES and it does what it needs to do to satisfy those desires. Of course you have DESIRES too !
The whole point of you trying to being in a relationship is, from time to time you will get a dose of DOPAMINE which you use to feel the pleasure of relationships , this gets you addicted and your mind will always ask you for this from time to time.
In animal kingdom, animals don’t take care of there off springs as soon as they can hunt and eat on there own, we humans have built our attachments as we evolved and there by the expectations will build and hence the pain of detachment comes with it, which is common.
As the DIVORCE rates around me are increasing and as I see more and more people having conflicts, breakups and complicated relationships , I want to give a breakdown of all these people , their behaviors and their psychologies. You don’t have to be in hundreds of relationships to go through all that I have mentioned below, if you focus on just ONE relationship and put extreme attention detail on every minor detail for at-least 5 years , you can find out the results. But you have to be FOCUSED and observe!
A relationship between male and female is one of the toughest and COMPLICATED challenges for every being to understand.
If you watch the below videos, check out how mating happens in the animal kingdom. Every male fights for its female . If in a fight , the male looses , then the female belongs to the other male. This was the whole logic which animals follow. And in their groups they call the best male the ALPHA MALE , which gets to choose the female it wants. And the next in the line gets to choose the other females and so on. So, this is the logic they use. Watch their behaviors and reactions.
This concept of Alpha male was there in humans as well in earlier CIVILIZATIONS, but we eliminated gradually as it proved to be too violent to practice it. But focus on the fact that a male had to show its skills and show its power to get a females ATTENTION, this is a very important factor which makes a huge difference on mating.
Another important point , in a male there is something called MASCULINE ENERGY and in a female it’s called FEMININE ENERGY , this is not random SCIENCE FICTION energy , but this is something that actually exists on the sub consciousness of the male and female , which makes you behave like one. The below are some very important facts between male and female energies. Go through them slowly !
Watch the penguin video from Planet Earth documentary , these penguins are mom and dad , taking care of the young ones , one day at a time. The male defines its role and the female defines its role and they stick to it. They do take turns , but once they understand the boundaries of their limitations they stick to there energies and RESPONSIBILITIES. I felt this is where things got messed up, and the society has to blame for it.
At first when humans evolved , initially we were all like animals , behaving like them, reproducing like them, males and females were equally good in hunting and had their skills toned. But as humans evolved , the males and females increased their ATTACHMENT towards the babies they had and hence wanted to make sure their babies should SURVIVE, no matter what predator comes. So the rules broadened. And the male started controlling the hunting and food getting and asked the female to take care and guard babies, it was still equal , as both were challenging , but as humans progressed and more weapons were invented , protecting the kid got easier and the female powers were FORCEFULLY suppressed.
Gradually males took the opportunity to dominate and tagged themselves as superiors, this was the start of DISCRIMINATION between male and female.But from the past 100 years (Before I was born), females recognized their rights and how they were being ill treated in many sections of the society and got back in action to fight against them ( This was supposed to happen, I am glad it happened ! ). This is what has now evolved to women rights. The reason why I had to tell this was, something went wrong in history ( Before all of us were born ) because of a bunch of IDIOTS and the repercussions are being felt now, the FEMININE CORE inside a female is turning MASCULINE because of all the hardships she has to face in the current society and is now angry against the masculine energy , which is like a CLASH OF ENERGIES.( This sounds like a good movie title)
Now that we understand this, conditional relationships are very much the cause of all the MISERY around us and it is important to put these people into the right categories. In the previous blog I had categorized based on consciousness levels , this one is classification of humans inside the 3rd LEVEL of consciousness.This will mainly focus on male and female characteristics and behaviors in each of the categories.
Before we start , we should ask the question , is relationship between male and female even NECESSARY ? Why is marriage even part of life ? Like I mentioned earlier society has created rules which have got complicated .
Initially there was polygamy , no partner was assigned to any other partner , whomever was the alpha male was taking complete control of females around it. But this led to chaos . The other problem was this alpha male was not responsible and making babies ,but asked the mother to take care of babies. Which led to quite a lot of infant DEATHS.
So the society agreed upon a rule which said let one male have only one female , so that they both can raise the KIDS together and that way we can solve the misery.
So, this is when they coined the term MARRIAGE. Until then since all humans looked similar , in order to identify their partners they were putting a ring or chain like identification tags. That was the only simple reason why things started , but then it expanded into small business models , marriage is just a business model as of now. For example when the primitive humans needed identification , a priest came in , and told that he can connect to GOD and hence needed certain amount of MONEY to connect them as well. Similarly flowers , decorations , camera men , catering , everything was added by SOCIETY and messed up the whole meaning of what is happening , oh yeah even the ATTORNEYS came into the party , as this business model pays in quite a lot of money . Watch this video on marriage , funny and true video .
As we continue on why relationships are needed , the reality is they are NOT NEEDED , if you control your mind. The reality just like how HUNGER is so common and we can feel it , sexual DESIRES are equally common among all humans , some accept it , some don’t and I will address this.
Relationships are also very much influenced by the media and content that we see in every day life. In fact my own experience is , as a young kind when I was watching all the classic films and the female lead was singing and was so romantic with the male lead. I really had thought that’s how life would be, where everything is ROMANTIC and just like in films , life would have sweet songs , girls in slow motion with hair flowing around and all the nonsense. Our brain picks up all this info and makes it as a world and fills it with expectations. This expectations that are derived from our life experience of talking with friends , watching TV , listening to parents , modifies the whole perception of our world and expects the same in reality more about this is PART 1 of this blog series.
In reality, the lighting is not so good , all men won’t have the muscles they expected. All women won’t be SUPER MODELS , all men won’t know how to fight , not everyone can dance like on movies or crack jokes like the main lead, films are scripted , we take 2-3 years to come up with ideas to make them , reality is totally different , but the expectations remain , which is the biggest reasons for things to go wrong.
Now I want to categorize the humans based on all the above info, I had to cover the above because sadly none of the categories that I will mention below are BAD people , their brains have been modified by the society and which sends them to the below categories.
Category 0 :
These set of people are not driven by any sexual energy and tend to remain far from the opposite sex and they don’t want to share their life with others , because they feel it will invade their privacy , they tend to be happy with themselves and will care to have a pet as a companion rather than a human , as they age they have several REGRETS, but they live the life they wanted. This set of people are increasing, if you observe Japan and other countries where people are not having enough sex , you will understand why this category is increasing.
Read this brilliant analysis on why some women find it so hard to find their LOVE , it comes to the fact that feminine energy which was supposed to be there.
Some people are frustrated about relationships that they have stopped trying to be in one, its just they are not INTERESTED being in this mess, well this blog will at least help them decipher what went wrong in their life , so that before they die they can at least solve the puzzle and be satisfied with it. If you looking for a headache free relationship , this will also help you.
If you are someone who is already married and have no clue what is happening then the below video will give you a excellent brief on how to life your life .
But first , we see different types of people in this amazing clip from silicon valley
Category 1 :
In this category , which I consider the best category to be in , humans are AWARE of what is happening and their minds are tuned to think about present and are usually talking PRACTICAL. They don’t talk bull shit or do actions for the sake of doing them, them come straight to the point, if they feel this is nonsense they tell it straight to the point. Not caring for what other person thinks or what the society thinks, these set of people are and will be the most happiest in any form of relationships, because the avoid the crazy people and filter them out in the initial interactions itself. They won’t hesitate to do actions just because someone else think it’s bad manners , remember rules are set by society but you are one who can decide which is GOOD and which is BAD.
In category 1 you will get a AUTHENTIC reason on why they don’t like you , they will not mind telling it on your face . If you want to live a stress free , anxiety free and happy life, this is the category you should be in and I highly recommend this for everyone reading.
Here is how a break up will happen in category 1 , but be ready for it. It can happen to YOU TOO from the other person. But you are brave here !
This is most common type of humans that are in the society , these people can also be ones who SUFFER a lot and cause pain to others as well. Most love story movies get made based on these type of people. They have grown up to being in the society in a way where everyone loves them, respects them, but they don’t exhibit the real behavior inside them fearing that the society will BACKLASH at them, so they pretend to be the good people and it gets very hard for everyone involved in such a relationship because they never admit or tell the truth.
As an example, a common scenario if a guy likes a girl is : The guys assume that if they are in contact with the girl for at least a few months and slowly talk and FLIRT around, give gifts, please her, take her to movies then the girl would be happy and they can end up being in a relationship and marriage, they put all there time and effort to make it work. This is a myth , this is where a girl would usually end up saying ” but you were just a friend” , also called as friend zoning . But this is not the mistake of the female. Just flirting around and expecting that woman to be yours will never work. Which is why these men will complain that they spent so much time for her and yet she did not value it.
The reason why this happened is, if the guy had spoken his true intentions to the woman, he is afraid of being judged as a BAD GUY/ ASS HOLE in the society , where a girl could easily ask “Is this how you talk to women? Is this what your PARENTS taught you?” , she will hit your EGO straight away and you will feel insulted, which is normal. the point is its okay to get insulted. And that is the place where all the drama starts, where there is no proper COMMUNICATION between the two. Sometimes things get lucky and after a long time , some relationships do become successful, but their lifetime is not guaranteed.
In a woman’s case ,if she likes someone and communicates her real intentions directly , she is afraid of being judged as a BITCH / SLUT by the society because she, like MEN wants to be the GOOD GIRL to people who know her and hence she will delay her communication and will make sure that the category 2 guys can be a backup, while category 1 can be the one they look out for. The cycle of this loop will continue unless they brave themselves and move to Category 1 else will enter regular depressions.
It is very easy to get away from a category 2 person, just exhibit one instance of category 1, they get scared and will stop talking to you, this is also a point they will brave themselves to come to category 1 and deal with it , else they will go back to category 2 and get stuck there trying to SATISFY a bunch of people rather than their own consciousness. They will shit their pants and say “Oh damn this person is getting serious , I won’t have backups and will need to get COMMITTED“. Danger zone triggers in your brain as soon as commitment comes into picture as it will be hard to ALTER the future without getting the bad person tag, this ambiguity of their own self will make them stuck in a loop. Pretty easy to observe this in like 70% of the population.
Here is a example of this behavior, no real communication of what is intended, just called as FLIRTING !
This is also a very good category to be in, this is where you get the overall WORLD VIEW of behaviors and psychology of humans . Even though in a mountain you have several viewpoints, the peak always does not give you best view of the world, sometimes you need to go back and stand and look ! This applies to Category 2, you are going to experience a wide array of EMOTIONS that drives you at change your character. The lucky ones who realize this will become better people and evolve but the unlucky ones will get stuck and suffer. Just like survival of the fittest/smartest/bravest.
Once you fill a person in your fantasies and then are asked to put a FRIEND banner it can be very very terrible condition for you to be in. Because your mind has to re-tune the thoughts and replace the NEURON wiring that it went through for all those years. which is when you get emotional and cry because yours neurons are not able to believe that the person DITCHED you, after making all the promises.
This unfortunate cycle happens with both men and women, you can please interchange good boy and good girl in the below picture, because that happens to both of them. And you can replace rich man with Rich girl/Beauty , Bitch with Ass hole. Its the same logic ! See, its so SIMPLE ! Everything is simple if you break it down.
Do not bring in WORK into relationship , if you are thinking of collaborating as BUSINESS partners and do not want to be in a relationship, things will get complicated , there is a invisible field of energy called feminine and masculine, you will have no control on it. Which is where INFIDELITY happens. Of course it depends if you already have a partner or no partner. This paragraph is invalid if that person is already a partner or you really know that they are the ONE.
Category 2 is where the maximum friend-zone happens as it is a backdoor to getting back when there is insecurity for that particular Man or Woman, such a nice beautiful word FRIEND ZONE ! Like Special Economic Zone !
In general neuroscience still has to prove how to DELETE thoughts, so once it is done we will all be able to stay in friend-zone and not act like WEIRDOS.
Do not say that I JUST want to be friends with you after signalling a different intention initially , because that’s a dialogue that has lost its VALUE and you must understand why it it wont work. Because that person has read the same blog posts as you have, they are aware of what is really happening. In reality when people are friends there is a line and border which makes them BEHAVE that way and they are completely aware of it, you need not explicitly mention it in that case.
A girl/guy will try to SIGNAL (Learn some good encoding and decoding algorithms ) you by mentioning that you are the most IMPORTANT person to her/him in her life , it can be as simple as “I have not told to anyone except YOU, you are only one who knows this”. Observe this moment, what exactly has triggered in their brains to say this sentence. They are trying to signify your importance to them. This is again information that will be decoded not directly said, if your intentions were not it, then don’t use those sentences, because everything now comes with a ALTERNATE meaning. And I totally forgot ! Our sweet little friend “LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS”( The gossip stories with no EYE contact ) come under this category, no decision making but back and forth with no idea of what is happening.
LOVE BOMBING is a common trait exhibited by men in this zone , many women get affected through this, majority of the DEPRESSIONS for women happen here , because this is a very dramatic combination of possessiveness, love and desire to hurt someone , read this article in detail, its very very important if you are a target and realize it fast.
I am repeating this again, it is very easy to go away from category 2 person, just exhibit one instance of category one. You will miss out on creating a film like story where the actor and actress will spend 2 long hours trying to communicate , but at least you will have PEACE OF MIND. Its your choice !
Commitment is another whole issue, we are in a generation where we don’t like the same phone models every year ,not eve the same shoe pairs, we need choices and we are not used to a level of commitment that is needed to make a relationship work and hence people who are afraid of responsibility will make sure they try to DODGE it somehow. You can easily identify these people.
This is quite common in many places , in this category, these people are extremely INTROVERTED and even though they have intentions towards someone , they will never make a move and just observe and never even approach a person or even try to flirt , because they are too scared to do anything , this happens similar to when a employee is too afraid to even communicate to the boss or talk of his ideas.
The below video is probably not a good example for this, but people here get really UPSET when they realize that all their handwork is being used by someone, and that for the whole time they were just being used. Once they realize this , they easily enter category 4 , after which there is no exit.
When it comes to relationships, these are type of guys/girls who come under category 3 , those who sit behind closed doors and make comments and never act , they don’t realize what’s wrong with them, they are scared of how they look, they find themselves PATHETIC, in general sometimes they turn out to be good NERDS and go on to become focused on careers and will have a solid life track but will rarely progress on relationships .
On the women side, a similar thing happens , other than being judged, inferiority complex will make them not to come further as the guys would always be focused on only the HOTTEST girls! But there are guys and girls who take ADVANTAGE of this category of people, they are very vulnerable, while they end up being in great careers and well paying jobs, other category men and women will flock category 3 , just to get their comfort zone ,name and fame and luxury that they have to offer, but they plan to get their desires satisfied from other alternative categories. This can get very complicated !
Past infidelity is a dangerous sign of future unfaithfulness , unless you get a person who is somehow updated in consciousness level.
These are the type of people who have experienced category 2 and 3 and know how they got used by the opposite sex , they are very ANGRY now, and they think that all of opposite sex are either perverts or bitches, they make this conclusion and treat everyone like that. They turn out to be torturing as they will never show real love to another person, they come with a pure intention of HURTING others and using then back. Be very aware of this.
Here are some reasons why you can hate men: Feel free to HATE 🙂
And here are some reasons why you can hate women : Feel free to HATE again
And this is the search for GOOD MEN which good women actually want. This is a MUST watch video which connects many dots and addresses so many of the above facts :
There is a very good YouTube channel called Men Sutra , which has lot of motivational videos, but the author directly relates FAILURES of men to girls and women. What are men supposed to do with SUCCESS ? Have success, fame, make kids, do a vacation, win a Oscar and then die one day. Is that why we are alive for?
Here is one video where he presents his view point:
And one more which goes against women, I am sure these videos are addressed for category 4 people to CALM their minds. But if you are a category 4 person, for all the hate that’s inside you regarding the opposite gender, you have to blame yourself or the society that made/shaped your behavior.
That was all about Categories , but note this, I would highly RECOMMEND all of you to experience category 2 because it gives your life a beautiful story and also a film like experience , nothing is guaranteed and the story always changes everyday, I have seen many category 2 examples and it is best place to be in to see all the 5 categories and get a viewpoint, in my 10000 days even though I am aware of it, I continued observing it carefully because all of them are complicated stories which just makes a good story, it’s like watching a film where you never know what will happen until the character changes to category 1. I like that, interesting SUSPENSE 😉
Pause for a while and identify yourself as to which category YOU belong to! Be HONEST and do not cheat yourself. If you want to explore more regarding the categories and how exactly women and men behave to get what they want, I highly recommend this book :
PRO TIP : All the good looking men and women, the FACIAL beauty which we are so dependent on is gradually going to go away. You cannot force to create the demand that you always wanted to, irrespective of how much facial creams we use. So tell your brains and remind it often about this fact. You cant remain beautiful and muscular always, but when you are use it wisely !
Remember a few points here, So as you see in this , none of the people are responsible for the bad that gets to you, it’s the society in general. if you read PSYCHOLOGY TODAY on how to attract men and I am also using the same articles to run the reverse psychology of how to attract women, whats the whole point ?
As a example, here is a common MIND GAME that gets played by both genders. One of the easiest ways ways to get rid of a person is , just regularly tell him/her you LOVE them so much and can’t live without them. They will gradually feel PRECIOUS and will also think that they can do better and go away. Negative psychology ! All these hacks are a bunch of manipulative games that people play on each other. Like I said earlier its a GAME OF MINDS.
Another popular ADVICE in the internet is , when a girl texts you, do you reply back for 2 days,so that your DEMAND grows up, this is pure reverse psychology, do not do it ! But websites and internet teach you all this stuff to get the results you wanted fast and quick without the hard work that the below amazing ANIMALS go through to do it.Relationships have become like supply demand , only if u don’t have something is when demand goes up, this is same as on drugs and other BUSINESS models , we are using the same nonsense even in relationships. Usually the best person for you will be right next to you, but you wont identify it because there is no SCARCITY of it. Your brains feel happy only when you get something that is not available, if a iPHONE 7 is not in stock , you will probably feel more EXCITED when you get it after 3 months, than when it is in stock and available right now, its the same logic. Many companies do run business this way by creating scarcity. You are a human being not a company ! Videos on YouTube are available for everyone to see, everyone knows every trick, its just more like who can watch more YouTube video tips and use them faster on the other person. Ridiculous !
Check out how hard mating is in animal kingdom, nothing is as easy as it is for humans
I personally do not want to get anything easily, if I need to deserve it , I have to earn it, just like all these animals. Below is Rahul Dravid, a famous cricketer who I always ADORE ! This is his reaction when someone offered him a free Doctorate degree from a Indian University. Connecting the DOTS !
And check out this sloth working so hard to find his mate, let us please learn the REAL TIPS from these animals. You don’t deserve a female if you can’t prove you are one of the best available to her out there. This applies to women as well. If you are not the ALPHA MALE for your woman, you will suffer.( But I don’t want you to suffer which is why I am writing this post)
As we dwell into one of the most sophisticated topics with an aim to give the best clarity , the more facts I present, its just information overload , we are all aware of infidelity in relationships, are they good or bad. I would say no human can learn without making mistakes, but the smart ones OBSERVE and learn and are cautious. Monogamy and polyamory are trending styles. You choose what is right for you.
There is a invisible field called masculine energy and feminine energy which you always have to be aware is , if a woman becomes MASCULINE , she should find a man much tougher than her , she she will not like shy guys. A male and a female first have to DESIRE each other , else nothing on it will work, no matter how many restaurants you eat in. If there is no Sexual desire initiated between the two energies, DO NOT PROCEED ! Your energy fields are not bonding well, that is what it means !
Observe the above image again, I know I am repeating this, but this is crucial to know that it exists. . This is where everything starts going wrong, define and know your energies, if you overlap and become the other , then you wont like the opposite sex. If a woman has more masculine energy , then she wont like the man next to her, because she is already a BETTER MAN than him. We think from our perspective that she will like you, but no it does not work that way. This is first most critical thing very many things will go wrong. If you are reading this , give respect to the opposite personality and their interests , do not assume everything and make it default that if you like someone they will also like you. NO NO NO. Its because both of you have energy fields, both of you should get the TRIGGER from neurons !
Once the energy fields match up , you need to make a effort to keep it alive, yes you need to learn the art of it and put efforts on to it. Male tricks and female tricks of seducing are mixed up, no one properly knows the rules of this game. Do you really want some 3rd person to come into your lives and teach how to FULFILL your own desires after you found your partner. It is your body and mind , make an attempt to learn from the huge resource of knowledge available in the internet . Porn has always given out FAKE representation for what to expect. Learn about how pleasure has evolved and what exactly it is, did you know MEDITATION can show you what real pleasure feels like, search and learn about orgasmic meditation.
Here is a good TED talk that makes a good point on keeping the tensions alive :
And we have Alpha Male Youtube channel for tips , which often give information which might or might not be taken in proper terms, based on the MATURITY of a person.
When 2 people come together in life, a successful relationship happens when a PURPOSE or a goal is defined , not just sexual satisfaction, what are you both going to do together, why do you both need each other, how will you both spend the rest of your lives ? Can they both compliment their views of this world ? Whats the whole point of both of them being alive ? Can they both work together to seek answers ? Check out this simple yet SWEET video on how they both adore each other for the reasons which their minds believe will keep them forever.
One of the most amazing books I have read is “The way of a superior man”, even though its written for men, a woman should check it out to understand how to choose a REAL MAN that she wants, of-course relationships will be MESSY for you if you have no clue on how a SUPERIOR man behaves. If there is no GOAL, it just a ship without captain and it will go to random pathways and crash on a island and get stuck in a ocean storm, where a bunch of attorneys will be waiting to make money out of you. Understand the ship which you are building, or why do you even need a ship to get together. Read the below book and understand with extreme attention to detail. Men will understand how to be a MAN, women will understand who is the RIGHT MAN. Also Check out this totally open and frank DOCUMENTARY ,directed by Gabrielle Anwar, its meant for women, but men should check it out to understand what a woman wants. If you do not have a definition or patience to understand the logic, then better stay single and do not plan to mess up YOUR LIFE + OTHER PERSON’S LIFE. Take time to go through information.
A bunch of repeating dialogues and repeating scenarios. Tell your EGO to shut up for a while when this is happening. Note that women go through lot of hormonal changes , so be aware of this in your Relationships , do not let random neurons firing alter your relationships and break it apart. And if a girl says randomly “I have been through all this before” it’s the mind that is speaking from past experiences, it is not a true emotion that is speaking consciously, be well aware of how your mind will alter your words, read more about it in PART 1 .The forces of society are strong, many will try to manipulate you but stay strong and follow the proper path, do not get tempted to do nonsense for a few seconds of pleasure. Stick to your words and respect it. Below image will summarize all the regular sentences, it just gets so boring if you are all using the same lines, try to be innovative. Try to break up by saying “Hey! My DELTA brain waves are not matching with your delta waves”, it will at-least sound a bit cool and shows some evolution!
Siblings – This relationship is particularly quiet strong and always amazes me, even if distant and far off, they are always there for each other. It fluctuates sometimes between conditional and unconditional and is pretty SOLID , it is probably a closer connection of the conscious minds , where they feel they are one.
Is the whole purpose of this is to have kids ? NO !
There are a few people who think , being in a relationship ends up having a kid, our earth is full of people already and therefore we don’t need more kids, very well said ! Do watch this perspective.
Mating is not the ultimate goal in a relationship, but it is of-course a very important factor. But the way life works is, you are capable of transferring your GENES to the next generation and this being will have the magical capabilities of your consciousness transfer. If we are on this topic , we will end up debating and telling , we can just do test tube babies and not to worry about relationships, technology can edit DNA gene sequence and get the best out of a human, this is true. I agree. If I go with that statement , this whole blog post is meaningless. At this point I don’t have any more sentences to type or defend, it becomes your personal preference on how you to think and live. Do you want to live a REAL life , the way all the animals live or do you want to experiment with your own being and do the test tube baby method and go searching for the right sperm and Ova, up-to you people !
Relationships are often seen as means to pass on your DNA to the next generation by mating with the best partner available , who you think will make the OFFSPRING even better. I believe in living a life with animal kingdom and going with flow of evolution the way it has always been happening. Because humans capabilities will grow as the consciousness EXPANDS, for more on this refer to the previous blog. We are all just a unfertilized egg and would not have got life without a sperm . A fertilized egg like us are now in a capacity to read this blog. We have gained intelligence to a point where we don’t know what we are doing .A woman who understands all this should realize that she has this amazing capabilities to form a child of HIGHER consciousness inside her own womb. Its up-to her to decide.
I am in complete belief that Unconditional love exists but it can get HARD to find sometimes, if you find a partner, friend , co- worker with Unconditional love , never let go of them( I mean do give them freedom and some air to breathe ).It does get RARE sometimes. Stop respecting conditional love.
Now where to go searching for the Real people that we are talking about in this blog post. You do not need to randomly talk to some strangers or think that while you study in your college you will meet them. You can find the right people where you think people have evolved in consciousness. I highly observe that in people who practice MEDITATION and have a understanding of power of MIND. Use MEED MINDFUL https://app.meetmindful.com or similar dating apps than tinder , if its just hookups , then do get drunk with your partner and nothing much to remember or enjoy , but rather just say , wow I had a amazing night with this hot guy / hot girl.
4. KEY TAKEAWAYS
RULE 1 :
Another point that has helped me to stay focused on observing this world are 3 sentences :
1) Happiness is just a state of mind
2) Attachment is the root for all misery
3) I am only going to live for 25,000 days if I am healthy and lucky.
I say the above sentences almost every day, in fact every hour , to recognize and appreciate life and people around me. When I get upset, sad , overjoyed , any mood , I make sure I pay attention to these sentences. People ask me if they should practice detachment. NO ! That’s not what I meant , what I am telling you is that be aware of it, just be aware of it, because when misery strikes you, your mind is ready to brace the impact.
Ground truth : Your own partner might and can easily CHEAT you, they will think you are not the one and the some other person who lures then, is the one, their DESIRE for you gets drained up and they will go seek out for someone else. This does not mean they are BAD People , its the FLOW which manipulated them to think that doing what they are doing is better for them . Everyone is wonderful on this planet ! None of us can predict future and say that a relationship will be 100% successful, anything can happen in the current mankind ethics. But we can get a glimpse of how relationships will be in future in this Black mirror Season 3 Episode 1, brace for it , I want you to be prepared for it. Do make some time to watch it.
We can’t do much about it , but this blog can help , provided you read it slow and carefully and understand how the whole system is working like a GIANT machine and connecting the DOTS together. Marriage means nothing , and it has absolutely no value . Believe this strongly , marriage is just a business model , that made its profits and it is a bubble that should burst soon. What matters is how your consciousness matches to create a UNIFIED energy field that keeps you at Bliss !
There is no good thing and bad thing in life , everything is just created by us , they are just rules , we can always break them , there were also REASONS why the rules why they came into existence , if we find the rules satisfactory , we can use them or ditch them .
Practice LETTING GO. You have to first let go of your ego, That’s the best part I found in this below video, show gratitude to the person who cares for you and not to someone who does not, this lion does not even know it has ego and is showing its complete honest love to the person, this is what is needed in every relationship. We currently do not have reasons to show gratitude, so go out there and find the reasons . And to find it, delete your ego. Your ego is the main reason for relationships to suffer, because you hold on to something that does not exist, its just neurons which make you behave like that.
During a given relationship a person will gradually change as the relationship progresses , instead of changing and hurting someone later , understand the real you and seek answers for it , before ending up troubling others with you mind. Similarly make sure the other person can also think under a matured WAVELENGTH.
On the other hand the current generation believes hook ups with tinder are the best ways to move forward , but nothing real happens , even if they hook up it’s just a hook up , nothing big in it. Who cares ? The mind will keep seeking for more of such casual encounters to realize dopamine from your mind , there are high chances of STI , we are animals and even animals have ethics on mating. Can’t we have minimum ethics on mating ,
Have PATIENCE ! It is very easy to loose trust and respect in matter of seconds , but to gain the same, it takes quite a long time. Being a good person and having a good character takes quite a lot of time and effort. But becoming a bad person in this world can take fraction of seconds. Make sure THE FLOW is not influencing this on you.
There are some time periods in our lives where we have to do certain things else things will end up complicated, for example it is told to a woman to marry in the age range of 25-28 , since it biologically helps her in the reproduction cycle and does not complicated life for her. Also for men might end up having old age symptoms where there is no point in being married any more. Testosterone and Estrogen levels are not under your control.
Do not JUDGE anyone because they have gone through a huge story in their life which you are not even aware of, there is a reason for what they are today and the reason for why they behave that way.
Do not leave REGRETS in life, they hurt a lot as we go to old age , When you have a breakdown you will always feel like you need someone by your side.
Life was supposed to be a simple game , but we made rules and added conditions and everything looks messed up, relationships are not messy , provided you understand the real meaning behind one. Relationship are like SOFTWARE updates , you need patch them from time to time, understand and update yourself. Don’t come to conclusions , because we are just doing the same mistakes again and again. Ask your partner to READ this blog and then talk reality than full of unnecessary arguments.
Also make a relationship filled with HUMOR, it’s not necessary to always be serious and stare at each for every simple action. Take it light, take a deep breath and relax. None of you have to work to stay happy , don’t let the society and its non sense rules to drive your life.
Check out these below quotes which can make you regret in the future, you can just read them all now and let go of all the regrets. These are some wonderful collection by James M Sama and if you need more of these quotes Go to this LINK (Click on the left bottom area of images to enlarge , there seems to be a bug)
When we were in this animal kingdom, we struggled for every chance to stay alive , life was so hard and scarce, and now we are in such a amazing position of this civilization and we tend to ignore all this and create a bunch of new problems by complicating the whole relationship process, is this what we are worth of ? Is this how we are supposed to live ? I am not serious ! The below videos summarizes how we came from jaws of death .
Ultimately we are ALL going to be like flowers and fruits of a tree , if we miss someone in life we need not miss them because we all belong to the same tree. See the below picture that I made for all of you, I am also in it, you are also in it, my mom, your cousin, my cat ,your boyfriend, your grand father all of us are in the below picture. IN ONE SINGLE PICTURE.
Your EGO will identify as individuals and will think other people are just other people and nothing to do with you, but remember if you did not get the loved one you always wanted “ YOU BOTH ARE CONNECTED THROUGH A SINGLE SOURCE” , as our consciousness evolves , all of us will realize that we are all from just one source. Just remember this, we are all from ONE single source, nothing to feel bad about anyone or anything, society has its rules and acts , but this is ground truth. I feel like stressing this similar to Sheldon !
After reading this , I wish you all good luck , but remember the disclaimer : I am not responsible if your relationship FAILS, some random neurons are , so blame the neurons inside your BRAIN and take them to the jurisdiction where ever you are in the world. By the way I am actively looking for unconditional love, if you have some to offer, let me know, we can talk more about it (With EYE Contact !).
If you already have your loved one next you, then go give them a hug with a new understanding of there value to your life. If you want your loved one back, show this BLOG post to them , have a debate during lunch/dinner on what you agree and what you don’t, change and RE-WIRE your brains together.
This is where we are in this universe, and this is how small we are and relationships are. Just a bunch of neurons in our BRAIN, think about it !
I just completed one of the biggest assignments in my life! Phew! It took 10 years and its now OPEN SOURCE !